Wonder Women. We all know them. You know… those females who seem to manage juggling a home, kids and a career effortlessly with nary a hair out of place. Until recently, I tried very hard to be one of those women… and I succeeded.
What changed? Reality hit me like a ton of bricks and left me dazed, bumbling through the dust and destruction. It left me looking at what had once been my life and wondering what the heck to do now.
On September 9th, 2011 I went to my doctor to get the results from blood work after a routine pre-op physical. I never expected to leave the office a 36 year old diabetic with high blood pressure. Sure, it explained one heck of a lot about how I’d been feeling for quite some time, but still… shocker? Yeah.
It’s taken some time for the brain fog to clear, and let me tell you—it was thicker than pea soup. My usual overachieving self was nowhere to be seen. I couldn’t have found that woman if you’d given me a map, GPS and held my hand on the walk to her. I can see the outline of her through the gloom now, but I’ve still got a way to go.
You might be thinking: No big deal. So you’ve been handed a few cruddy hands, get over it. Here’s the thing. The wonder women I mentioned earlier? I used to be one of them. One hour to get three people (myself and the two kids) ready for school? Sure. Not a problem.
I could get the kids fed, dressed and ready. Get myself showered, dressed, fed, lunches made and my morning emails checked all between seven and eight A.M. Clean the house, plan dinner, edit chapters for myself or another writer and write two thousand words all before the kids get home at three? Sure. Not a problem. Done.
Did I mention my oldest son has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and that, until his medication kicks in, he’s an uncontrollable ball of energy? If you could harness the amount of energy he puts out in that one short hour, I’m sure you could power a small city for a month. I kid you not.
Up until a couple of weeks ago, there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do. There wasn’t a challenge I couldn’t tackle and come out on top of.
What has all of this taught me? I’m not wonder woman and I don’t need to be. There are some battles worth fighting, and some challenges worth accepting. The key, as I’ve learned, is to pick which ones are worthy and stick to them. No one’s going to care if my house is a bit messy or there’s a dirty bowl in the sink. If that chapter doesn’t get written today, there’s always tomorrow. It’s all about priorities and the changes I’ve had to make recently have firmly put those into perspective for me.
Being wonder woman was great, but it nearly killed me. I’ll be happy with plain old Danielle from now on. She’s easier to manage.
Danielle Gavan lives in Ontario, Canada with her husband of eight years and their two sons. Danielle has been writing since she was in middle school.
She loves a good book and is usually found with her nose in one. She has an extensive list of them on her book pile. When she’s not writing or reading, Danielle keeps herself busy designing book covers and editing.
Her guilty pleasures are her favorite television shows Bones, House and Hawaii Five-0.
Danielle welcomes email and you may contact her at email@example.com.
You can also find her hanging out on the forum she shares with Jennifer Feuerstein. The Crowded Minds is a great place to relax and have a little fun.
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Big hugs, Danielle. This is a good lesson for many women. We can literally kill ourselves trying to do it all. Some adversaries turn out to be blessings. You’ll be amazing even if the laundry doesn’t get done.
Hugs to you- I completely understand. I think working moms always try to do it all and we forget to delegate or even ask for help.
Screw this ‘wonder woman’ crap! Do men have to be ‘wonder men’?
I’ll be the first one to admit that my house is in desperate need of a deep clean, its been several days since I washed my hair and I couldn’t even tell you the last time I did my nails. But you know what, my kids are happy, clean and well fed, and I’m writing my ass off. Those are my priorities.
Look after your health and family, the rest will fall into place in time. XXX
This year has taught me that life can throw you the craziest curve balls. You can rail against what fate has delivered you, or work with the cards you have been dealt.
Marissa is right – nothing is more important that your health and your family.
Cut yourself some slack – you have the fortitude to deal with all of this once you have rested and regrouped.
You can’t keep a good woman down for long 😉 x
Thanks, ladies. Have I told you how much you all rock lately?